Hello Lovely!
Today, I am sharing a TMI Tuesday.. on Wednesday. Weird, right?
I want to get back into the groove of blogging weekly without bombarding my readers. So, I decided to post Tuesday’s post on Wednesday.
Let’s just get into it…
It had been a long time coming, but roughly three weeks ago I decided to make a change. I was stuck. I was miserable. I was so tense, every other interaction I had with my children or husband was screaming. (My poor neighbor has to think I’m psychotic by now.) I hated the person I was, and I realized the cause of the majority of my anxiety was coming from my social media platforms.
You know those “inspirational” quotes floating around Pinterest that go along the lines of, “A dream without a plan is just a wish,” or some load of crap along those lines? Well, unfortunately, that was me. Full of wishful dreams that were not attainable for me.
I don’t say those things because I don’t believe in myself or think myself good enough, though that is true at times. I say this because those dreams weren’t suitable for the life of Taylor Magee, 25 year old housewife, mother of three. They were suited for the life of Taylor Everson, 20 year old fashion student, mother of none.
It’s hard to realize you’re still living in the past. It’s even harder to let go and move forward.
Instagram, Facebook, and my blog were all draining me mentally and emotionally. I compared myself with every single [fashion/style based] account I followed.
Sure, it may have been attainable to become a successful fashion blogger if I had graduated from college, was childless, and had a sustainable job that could fund my blogging necessities and wardrobe. (Blogging takes a lot of time and money. That part of it isn’t really advertised.)
Pushing myself to make a career out of something that was completely separate from my full-time position as a caregiver was wearing me out.
In the beginning, I had decided to keep my kids out of my content. I was only going to focus on fashion, style, beauty, and some home tips. Most of the people that followed me at the time were my age and couldn’t relate to a young mom. (Seriously, some brands wouldn’t even consider me for collaborations because I was “too young” to be a mom of their target market — but that’s a totally different story.) I wanted to relate to my readers and followers, so I tried to keep my kids to my instastories and dedicate few posts to them.
I didn’t feel like I could truly be myself.
I also couldn’t be too creative because anything out of the norm would get no attention. I was overly worried about the numbers and the opinions of every single follower and reader and fellow influencer. It was ridiculous. I was ridiculous.
I needed to take a step back and try to figure out who I am.
The pause did my soul well. I found most of what I was looking for, and really unwound my tightly screwed cork.
I had no idea how long of a break I would need to take. I didn’t set a time. I just came back when I felt ready. It lasted 18 days.
I will catch you up on all the things that happened during my time later.
Thank you for those that continued to read. I really didn’t have any intentions with this post other than to ramble, so if you followed along — Thank you.
xo
Tay
THINGS I DID OFF-LINE
decorated eggs.
celebrated easter.
ordered takeout… a lot.
pampered myself.
enjoyed quiet time.
and last weekend.
Maple got into a BUNCH of cockleburs, and Justin accidentally cut her when he was cutting them out. So, a trip to the animal hospital and a few stitches later — she got coned.
Tori Enstad says
❤️