Hello, Lovely!
It’s Monday — but it’s still summertime, so is it really the same? I mean I don’t think so! If Monday means sitting on the patio sipping some frilly drink with lots of booze (none for the prego, please..), then I suppose. Yes, it is Monday. But, only technically!
Today, I want to share a round-up of the swimsuits I’ve been sporting on Instagram of late, along with some words of wisdom. (Bonus: Not one of the pieces I’m sharing with you is over $30!)
Dalmatian Top: Old Navy ♦ Black Bottoms: Old Navy ♦ Black Latter Top: Target ♦ Aqua Ruffle Top: Target(not online) similar ♦ Multicolored Bottoms: Target
This has been an odd year for me. I actually have had so much fun shopping for swimsuits this summer!
Instead of tearing myself down for the little imperfections of my body, I’m finding peace and admiration for the work my body is doing.
I’ve already had a baby, you guys. I have stretch marks. I have cellulite. My muscles aren’t toned. My suntan is uneven. I have extra fat around my shoulders and biceps. My chest isn’t as perky as it used to be. My thighs rub together, and not because they’re just so full of muscles. But none of that is getting me down. I’m focused not on my imperfections, but on my triumphs!
This time last year my pool goal was to sit on the chairs covered in a towel and hope that nobody saw how ridiculously unhappy I was.
This sad woman missed out on the pool fun that her husband and child were having while she cared more about the thoughts and judgements of the people around her. She spent little to no time trying on swimsuits for her new body because it wouldn’t fit her old ones. She tried to wear pants all summer long, and stay indoors. This woman was ungrateful and oblivious to the memory making that was going on all around her. She missed out on so many smiles, and I refuse to be her ever again.
This past January, I made a change. I was sick of looking at myself with this loathing unsatisfactory glare that followed me everywhere, comparing myself to the likes of my Instagram account. I was ready to dive headfirst into a new lifestyle that would hopefully bring back some self-love antics and help me to free myself from the harsh criticism and comparisons going on in my head. And guess what, I did it.
I did it for myself, I did it for my husband and child, and I did it for the person I knew I wanted to be and the loved ones that I wanted to be around me.
The process was hard, but it was so worth it!
After I had finished learning the techniques I needed to place into my life, I started to feel good one day at a time. It didn’t all come at once, and some days I still struggle, but I am in such a better place that I thank God for my life, every day.
On the third day of April, 2017, I was blessed with the confirmation that we had conceived! Everything seemed to be falling into place.
We’d been trying since March of 2016 to get pregnant, but were seeming to have absolutely no luck. Maybe God wanted me to love myself again before I could open my heart to another, I don’t know. But, I have no doubt in my mind that He played the biggest role in deciding when I was ready to handle bringing another child into this world.
I thought I would really struggle with my body image because I did with my first pregnancy. I’d be getting bigger again, and probably comparing my growing process to those of the beautiful pregnant women that fill the feed of my Instagram. However, I have been so positive and in love with this body that knows exactly what it’s doing this time around. It seems like the world of media has made it so impossible to be happy with ourselves because we put these beautiful, tall, thin women on an untouchable pedestal and create standards in our minds that we will never meet.
The issue with social media is that it isn’t real. This cyber world we’ve created to fill with all the good and beautiful memories we’ve made are all staged. Life isn’t perfect for anybody, and sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that it truly is for some people. This issue makes us bitter people, but to this I ask — why? We are enough. Our lives have ups and downs and that’s okay! Nobody is perfect, which brings me to a recent incident.
The other day, I posted a family photo from the pool to both Instagram and my personal Facebook. Like I said, I have been feeling great. I have this new confidence that I never had with my first pregnancy, and I am loving my baby bump! Some people, obviously, have different opinions on whether or not you should celebrate your pregnancy by showing off your belly. I had the unfortunate privilege of reading one of these people’s comments of harsh words on my personal Facebook post. Being the hormonal pregnant lady that I am, I cried.
This made me realize that you can’t be your own worst enemy because other people are going to try to tear you down with every triumph in your life. It made me sad for this person, and sad for any other person that’s had to receive any of this criticism firsthand. If you’ve been subject to this kind of demise, please just know that you are enough. Your life this so beautiful, and no person can take that away from you.
I, for one, am not going back to last summer. I will show off my baby bump as much as I see fit. If you decide that’s not who you thought I was and decide to unfollow me, that’s fine. You have the right to do that — with class.
For me, I will be enjoying the rest of this summer with my family.
xo, Tay
